I've drawn the map, or found it along the way, or realized what I've always known and what comes next is waiting for me to reach out and take hold of it. I think this could be IT, the very same it I've been wanting after for so long, for what seems like my entire lifetime and in reality is almost half of that. Which seems endless or heavy or like it's been an eternity already but I know life is just starting now and what's done was done for some reason I can't fathom and what can be changed is changing and what remains are battle scars but it no longer hurts so much to run my fingertips over them. Like a seasoned warrior I can wake and paint my face and brave the new days because I think I know you're going to be there when I need to lean and when I need a push or when I need to breathe and it's time to rest. Sleeping has never felt so good and waking up has never been so easy. It's hard not to be scared when things are scary but somehow it's easy to keep trying, that's the bravery I never absorbed from you, yet you give so easily. It shines through every action and every word and even every glance in my direction. It's all new and I find myself eager in ways and still cautious but I haven't reached any plateaus yet and if my eyes sparkle it's because I can't stop my heart or slow it down and a soft warm wanderlust is flowing through its ventricles and coursing through my veins and it has me begging you for more. I can't split the sensical from the nonsensical, this newfound appetite is a ravenous one and I think I'll never be full.
Too much, so nice.
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