It seems like the two of us are the only ones completely ready and willing to lay this thing to sleep. The rest of our life is attached to itself, to the image and the thought of what we pretended we always were.
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I haven't sat in any sickening still sadness, I haven't retraced any of my old routes. I haven't needed any of my old safe guards, no distractions, no hiding places. I fall straight to sleep and I wake up rested, unworried, ready. I haven't felt a pit stirring in weeks, I think some may have even gotten lost in the shuffle. It's been spring cleaning and shedding and an abundance of soft growing things and smiles. I've got a new compass and a steady guide and together we're charting a course and the conditions are clear.
I'm trying to be cautious, I swear it's true. But all I could come up with is a silent prayer, a lifting from my core to all that's above, and the tone is always thankful, hopeful, desirous, asking; hoping that's enough. I have my usual safety nets in place from before but by now they wouldn't hold the weight of this, everything is everything.
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