the sea anemone in me

It's time to let it all hang out.

I think it's possible that I've gone about this all wrong. I've missed the mark, or maybe I never had a mark and was that the problem? This was over before it began, that's a cliche for a reason just like they all are. But the questions now should be about how to go on from here. I can lay down and die, but that's not easy it's just quick. I can fight but that's not guaranteed and it's so much effort to gain nothing to get no where. To maybe be worse off than we are now? There's no sure-fire cure-all win-win. Those don't ever really exist. When will I learn it's a never ending war, people enter it and people leave it but IT remains. And no one gets out unharmed, I'll be lucky if I get out at all, dead or alive. Maybe it's just war followed by war and even after we die there's no escaping, there's no resting. Aren't I too stubborn to give in first? I always thought I'd be the one to never let go, I'd never be the one to walk away. I don't know which is harder, the walking away or the staying? The fighting or the giving in. What I know is it's all killing me, it's all taking too much, everything's going in and nothing good is coming out. Is that what it means to give it all with no reservations? But if you give until you're out how do you keep on going from there? There was so much more I wanted to see and do and say. Has my time passed already?