So, it doesn't always have to be cryptic here right, I mean that's not what I made this for. I made this for opening the flood gates, for letting my mind and my fingertips wander over the letters together and just let whatever comes out, come out. FOR ONCE. Sometimes I think I am too guarded, too quiet, and I've definitely been too kind.
But what I'm wondering today is about love, LOVE. L-O-V-E.
Does real love mean sharing the same interests and wanting the same things and finishing eachother's sentences? Or does it mean sacrificing what you actually care about and caring (or trying to care, or pretending you care?) about whatever this other person cares about? Does it mean listening (and when we say listening, do we mean REALLY HEARING or pretending to listen and adding in mmhms and uuhuhs to sound believing?) to what they want to talk endlessly about, or can we be honest and say I DON'T SHARE THIS INTEREST AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO EXPLAIN THIS TO ME FOR FIVE HOURS, BECAUSE I DON'T CARE. Does it mean being honest with them or does it mean being honest with them about yourself but not about them. Does it always come easily or is it a full time job? Can you really fall into it, does it really just show up at your door or do we search for it? When (if) we find it, is it easy to keep or is it a constant struggle?
You aren't supposed to change this person, and they aren't supposed to change you, but how do you mold together two lives unless they are already similar, if no one changes?
I just don't know. Is it supposed to be mysterious? Is it supposed to be the kind of thing that people describe by saying YOU'LL JUST KNOW. YOU'LL JUST FEEL.
WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE WHY?
You both change, but in this case we call it growing. You grow together.
ReplyDeleteThe difference is that changing someone requires such great effort because most of the time what you are trying to change does not want to be changed, but when you grow, it is effortless.
For me, I have always needed love to be effortless and what is there naturally, an unadulterated intellectual-physical connection with playfulness and romanticism and equal parts maturity and honesty (from both sides.)
I guess what it really comes down to is that you need to figure out what love is to you, because people can tell you and tell you but it may never be your definition and maybe you'll never agree.